What Will You Do?

September 10, 2019

I only have one chance to be reborn every single year only if I don’t cruise down to the abyss but while I am still alive and well, I am going to make my sweet sixteen count for better or for worst. Even though I am afraid of what is to come after this day, I assure myself that that is tomorrow’s problem and frankly I should just live in the moment and make the best out of each of it with my friends.My peers are like me in so many different ways but one thing that stands out in all of all is our personalities but this doesn’t pose a threat to the relationship that we share. Our problems bring us together similar to the circumstances of life. Today they brought me a gift, a kind gesture you might say considering they are my friends but I felt betrayed all the same. They had crossed a boundary in my life and for that I was angry at all of them and also at my self for feeling the same way.I had never dreamed of having a mutual relationship with someone of my opposite sex. The thought had literally never crossed my mind and I was okay with being alone in the sixteen years of my life. Was I crossing the bridge to a complicated world? Is this my first assignment as a sixteen year old nerd who knows nothing of the world that surrounds? Getting me a better half was a wrong choice of birthday gift but I am afraid to admit it to the friends who have gone an extra mile to make this possible on my special day.If I turn down their gift, will it be rude? I am selfish for feeling this way? It is just who I am so does it mean that I am to blame for how I came out to the world? I want to keep my friends but I also know that if I do this, I will be compromising everything that defines who I am and as far as my life has passed, I never take unnecessary risks but this feels different. I am torn between two worlds at the epic moment of my transformation into adult hood so what should I do? I have never felt this confused about anything in my life and at this point I could use some advice…what would you do in this situation?

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